I hate you so much that I don’t know where to began. I remember the first time you ever told me you cheated on me. I never understood why you would do that even after I wouldn’t listen to what everyone would tell me about you. I gave you my heart the first day that I met you. That night at the park. Cause even though I saw it in your eyes that you didn’t care about who I was or how I felt, I still fell in love with you. Now looking at today it’s 14 months later. And words can not describe exactly how I feel after what you just finish telling me. But before I share what you told me, I want to talk about everything we’ve been though these past 14 months..

Days after days, I remember laying in my bed feeling like that most happiest girl alive. I don’t think you understand how much you really meant to me. I guess this will help you understand… Every night that you would go out, I would be so scared. Scared of you cheating on me. One day you did. Her name is Diana. The sad part about that is I didn’t even find out her name until months had pasted by. Countless times you would tell me to not let myself. I never understood it. I thought you were just afraid to love someone. I thought you were scared to open up to me. So I didn’t give up. All those days that you would ignore me all those days that you wouldn’t wanna talk to me. I still stayed not because I thought you needed me but because I knew I needed you. It was only 3 weeks of knowing you and I had already fallen hard. One day you told me you just don’t want to be with me cause you wanted to live your senior year. So I let you. You would chose the days that you wanted to be my girlfriend and the days when you pretended I was invisible. I got tired. Tired of putting up with something that wasn’t getting anywhere. So I let you go completely. It wasn’t until a girl manda came along into the picture when you decided to start “loving” me. You saw how I was giving another girl other then you attention. Manda was always there for me cause she was the only one that understood just what you would put me though. All those late nights of me not being able to go to sleep, she was there. Texting me asking if I was okay. A girl that has no idea who I was, cared enough to ask if I was okay. When you didn’t even care if I got home safe. So you “changed” you started kissing my ass. I loved it. But I loved it to the point were I knew it was bull shit still. So I NEVER let manda go. The thing that I don’t understand is, moments. We had so many moments. Where you would hold me, kiss me, and hug me and whisper in my ear “I love you”. The feeling of you fingertips running through my hair. The rush that I would get from the bottom of my feet to top of my head when you would kiss me. The feelings of feeling safe with you. And always trusting you with my heart. When we moved in with each other, it was beautiful. Waking up next to you every morning. Showering with you. All my thoughts that would go through my head were just insanely crazy. I loved you. I have never opened up to anyone the way I have opened to you. These moments were the reasons for me staying this long. But because I would always have a gut feeling I would continue to cheat. I cheated on you with a girl that loved ME. With a girl who gave me HER HEART. A girl that wanted my attention. But I was too busy giving it all to you. I gave up my senior year for you. I lost all friendships with everyone. I even lost my family at one point. I had no one. But you. And that’s we’re my anger started to built up. After every single time you wanted to leave me you couldn’t. And it’s not because you were in love with me. You loved the fact that I gave you the attention you knew no one else would give you. Diana. The first girl you ever cheated on me with. She left you the biggest hickie on the right side of you neck. I took that hickie off. I wasn’t crying on the outside but i crying so loud on the inside. What you told me today will forever be in my heart. You explained to me that there was a reason you cheated on me in the beginning. I asked you what was the reason and you told me you don’t even know anything about this girl but you’ve been in love with her even before you met me. You told me she was the one that you’re never going to stop loving. You told me that you fell in love with me for all the wrong reasons. You fell in love with the attention I gave you. After so many months of you making people feel so sorry for you. After telling people you love me. After everything you made me feel like shit for, YOU WERE DOING THE SAME THING. Realizing that all those moments meant nothing. Cause every time you would hold me, it wasn’t love. Every kiss, every hug. Every thing. I hate you so much. I told you things not anyone knows. My family accepted you. I brought you into my house everyday. I just don’t understand. And all this time I thought I was gonna get my karma but what you told me, it that this was YOUR karma. I don’t know what more to say. Just that I hate you so much to the point were I hope you honestly die. I have never felt so idiotic and so stupid ever in my entire life. You made me feel like shit. I hate you. And I wish you nothing but the worst for your life. You’re just a fucking low life that wants everything to be handed to you. After these 14 months I’m proudly saying yes, I’m sad and terribly heart broken but I’m not dead and I’m still standing, it’s not the end of the world. Thank you for such an experience. You’ve taught me how to spot bull shit. Exactly what you are. I’m just gonna walk away knowing that I have said every thing I wanted you to know. So there it is, have a horrible fucking life Itzel. I wish you all the worst luck in the world. YOU DESERVE IT.

Love, Kari.